Unequally Yoked In Grace

Small Blessings

2009-04-06T11:29:00.005-05:00

I heard him sing in church last week.

It was the best hour of my month.

I pray for more Sundays where I can sing for Him and have Bryan beside me.

Pray that we would find a church home that suits both of us.

Pray that He would move in our hearts.

Just pray.

Help.

2009-02-21T14:29:00.004-05:00

I cannot continue to walk through each day as though I am on my own.

I am not strong enough.

I am not smart enough.

I need HIM. I cannot keep pretending that I don't.

Pray for me. Pray for us.

Pray that my pride would be broken. That I would be able to walk into church on my own tomorrow. That my heart will be open to hear HIS word. I want to be the woman HE intended me to be.

Plans

2009-01-26T16:34:00.002-05:00

I am head over heels engulfed in wedding plans.

I am working my tooshie off to help pay for our wedding.

HE provides me with all the work I can handle - and then some. In this economy, I know this is a blessing.

I am so thankful.

I am looking forward to June 5th, 2009 knowing that HIS hand has been with us all the way.

Thankful

2008-12-01T07:54:00.003-05:00

Check out Daily Three:

I feel inspired to try this on my own... let's see if it will last! :-)

Today I am grateful for...
1. Apple Caramel creamer in my coffee. A sweet treat to make getting up this morning a little easier.

2. My sweet fiance' who so patiently helped me decorate for Christmas yesterday, even though he really wanted to just sit and watch football.

3. The renewed desire to become part of a house of worship again.

If I've Learned Anything...

2008-11-01T11:57:00.004-05:00

It's that HE can carry us through anything.

Holy Father,

YOU are so mighty, so incredibly awesome and powerful. You have carried us, albiet kicking and screaming at times, through the last few months.

I know I can place my trust in you during this time of uncertainty.I know you will take care of us.

But Father, he doesn't know you yet. He is scared. Angry. Worried.

Continue to reveal yourself. I know he sees YOU working for us through all of this.

I can't wait to see your mighty hands at work.

I love you.

Burn Me Up

2008-10-20T15:21:00.002-05:00

I had the wonderful opportunity to go home this weekend and spend some time with my family. What made it even more special was that it was just us.

In the last two years, we have added two wonderful men to my family. Two of my three sisters (yes, there are 4 of us!) have tied the knot and I absolutely adore my brothers-in-law. However, when presented with the opportunity to spend time with just my sisters and my parents, I jumped for joy.

Jennie (sister #3) and I drove to NC on Friday night. On the way there, we listened to Shane and Shane's new CD - Pages. It was fantastic. I will humbly admit to letting the "fire" in my relationship with GOD die out in the last month or so. I haven't been diligent about having a quiet time or going to church. I know these are things that speak to Bryan, and I have felt really convicted about needing to "step it up" again.

I was listening to song "Burn Us Up" when I felt HIM move in me, and I simply wanted to share those lyrics with you today...

----------------------------------------------
Burn Us Up
-Shane and Shane

There were three
Before the king
There were three who wouldn’t bow to him
For when you heard
The music play
And you were standing you would burn.
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up!
Burn us up!
Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire

We give up!
We give up!
We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

The king enraged
At what they said
Sent the three away to find their death
The palace stopped in unbelief
When the guilty raised their hands to sing
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up!
Burn us up!
Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire

We give up!
We give up!
We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction
It’s the declaration of my Lord
You’re not an image of gold
You’re the God of old
You have made us
Come and save us
We are Yours
But even if You don’t, we will burn!

Burn us up!
Burn us up!
Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire

We give up!
We give up!
We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of
Your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

--------------------------------------------------

I pray that we would all long to burn in the furnace of HIS desire.

Opportunity Knocked

2008-08-29T14:49:00.004-05:00

I had a wonderful opportunity this week to share my heart for GOD with Bryan...

On Wednesday night, as I pulled into the driveway I heard HIM whisper "Put on love, Abby. Put on love right now." I brushed it off and HE kept whispering "Abby, I need you to put on love."

I ignored HIM.

I walked into the house, and within five minutes I found myself arguing with Bryan and madder than a cat in a rainstorm. You want to know what we argued about? Nothing! We argued over nothing! He had forgotten to do something I asked him to do. It wasn't crucial or even necessary, and he just forgot. And I flew off the handle.

Very quietly, I heard HIM speak to me again. "Abby, I asked you to put on love. What will he see now?"

By this point, we were sitting at the kitchen table and I had calmed down. Bryan was telling me about his day, and my heart was just overwhelmed with conviction. I started crying. Bryan, of course, thinks that I'm upset with him again. (By the way, through all of this he was very patient and apologetic over the "nothing" business.)

When I was able to cut the crying down to a sniffle, I shared my story with him and the verse I felt like GOD has "given" us...

Colossians 3:12-13 (NASB) And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Colossians 3:14 (NASB) And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

He listened, smiled and told me that he understood why I was upset. He also told me he didn't know what to think of GOD speaking to me, but that he liked "our" verse. I told him I wanted to put it inside our wedding bands (or at least mine) to be a reminder for both of us to put on love in everything that we do.

I continue to pray for these opportunities, although hopefully next time I'll listen when HE starts whispering in my ear.

Still Here!!

2008-08-26T14:00:00.002-05:00

I knew it would be difficult to keep blogging regularly once school started and I went back to work, but I feel like a serious slacker!

HE has been hard at work inside of me. I have to make a confession... I have not been living up to my potential or my calling as the future (and current) spiritual leader in my relationship. I have spent several Sundays snoozing away while worship went on without me.

Thank goodness HE gave me a good Mama. :-) She has been hard at work praying for me as well (and I would ask that you do the same) for my heart to have a renewed desire to spend time with HIM in HIS house.

Two Sundays in a row, people! I've even been going to a new church - LifePoint Church in Smyrna. The young pastor is passionate and powerful, and the music is just awesome. HE has truly moved me by speaking through the messages and the music.

I have gone alone both weeks - something that is not easy for me to do at all. Last week, I had a fun surprise waiting for me when I got there. One of the new teachers from school and her husband were sitting a few rows in front of me. I sat with some new neighbor friends AND my good friend Anita who lost her own husband to cancer just a few weeks ago. She was "unequally yoked" like many of us, and we have shared many conversations, tears and prayers over the last few years. I was overjoyed to see her at church, and we have committed to going together in the weeks to come.

I continue to pray for both of us, that HE will lead us in the months and years to come. I pray that HE will work and move in Bryan's heart, melting the resistance he shows to giving it all over to GOD. I pray that HE will remind me daily to "put on love" and keep the resentful feelings at bay that pop up when I worship and pray on my own.

Thank you for stopping to check in on me!

Thankful Thursday

2008-07-31T21:55:00.002-05:00

We have had a very trying couple of weeks. We got "ahead" of ourselves by assuming we were financially stable. HE brought some challenges our way that left us wondering what the end of the month would look like for us.

Would we be able to pay all of our bills? Would we be able to buy food? Could we take care of our house?

So I prayed. Quietly and faithfully. Bryan was so anxious and couldn't understand my ability to remain calm and trust that everything was going to be okay. I reminded him of how we handle problems differently. I challenged him to pray. He growled, but he watched me more carefully and released alot of his tension.

It is the end of the month. Payday! WHEW!

We paid all of our bills. We had more than enough food. We were able to make the needed repairs to our house. We even have leftover money. It's not much, but it's extra we didn't expect!!

Praise HIM. Praise his HOLY name. Praise my ABBA FATHER who is always there, always watching, always faithful.

Visit Iris for more Thankful Thursday!

Absentee Blogger

2008-07-21T20:23:00.002-05:00

I've been working as a nanny to make extra money for our wedding. I am so tired when I come home that I want nothing to do with this computer. I have a week off to re-energize before I go back for one more week.

Bryan tells me how proud he is of me for using my last few weeks of vacation to make some extra money for us. It has been an opportunity for him to see how GOD provides for our every need. We had some unexpected bills and expenses, but the money was there ahead of time because HE knows our every need. Without that money, we would be under serious stress right now. HE is so good and faithful.

I am looking forward to being a better blogger this week. I've missed reading everyone's stories and I can't wait to catch up!

Tongue-Tied

2008-07-07T14:10:00.000-05:00

Last night at dinner, we had yet another "GOD" conversation. More than anything else, I wish I knew what to say when B goes on the defensive. I always feel under attack when we are able to talk about my faith/his lack of faith.

It wasn't until I got home, that I remembered what I should've done. Last month, my new friend Lynn wrote about the very same thing. I failed to do something so simple - pray. I got so caught up in what I wanted to say, I didn't give GOD any room in my thoughts to share HIS words with Bryan. I feel so foolish.

I am praying fervently for another opportunity to be obedient. I am praying for HIS forgiveness because I acted on my desires, instead of waiting for his. I continue to pray that GOD will melt Bryan's heart, draw him back home and mold him into the spiritual leader I know he was designed to be.

Thankful Thursday

2008-07-03T21:16:00.004-05:00

I almost missed it! Again!

I've been a little absent this week Taking the kiddos to Six Flags. helping my sister and brother-in-law move, the usual running around...

1 Timothy 5: 4-5

...their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases GOD very much.

I had a very emotional conversation with my mama this week. She is one of the strongest, most faithful daughters of GOD I have ever known. Her testimony over the last 10-15 years is incredible. With every step, every decision, every hurtle, every triumph she has looked to HIM first.

My parents need my help right now. She called, broken and worried about what the next few months would bring, asking me to pray. Absolutely. I felt HIM telling me there was something more. I asked if I could do more to help.

I will be honest. There is a selfish, worldly part of me that said, "No! You have a wedding to pay for!" By HIS grace, I belong to HIM and HE is stronger than my worldly self. I wanted to do more. It is an honor to do more.

Today, I thankful that what I can do not only pleases HIM but helps my family as well. I am thankful that we have been blessed in abundance so I can give help where help is needed. I am thankful that we can still meet our own needs as well. I am honored to be able to show "godliness at home."

HE is faithful. HE is good. HE is true.

*Go see Iris*

Thankful Thursday

2008-06-27T16:42:00.002-05:00

I am a little late in posting this, but Blogger has been acting up. The last few days have been hard. I feel disconnected - like I've hit a plateau with GOD. While it's awkward to admit that, it also feels good to get it off my chest.

I'm still reading When Godly People Do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore. I felt like I was making big strides in my relationship with HIM for several weeks, and before I realized it I was really struggling to get through a lesson at a time.

I was having this same problem yesterday, when something occurred to me. I've had plateaus and "blah" moments in my walk before. But it took me months, even years, to recognize or care about what had happened. Within a matter of a few weeks (maybe even days), HE began to show me that my soul was growing cold again.

HIS love is greater than anything we will experience here on Earth - even marriage. That's alot to swallow sometimes. Today, I am thankful that our FATHER chases me. HE pursues me. He reminds me that our relationship is so much more than a routine. HE speaks to me when I wake up, during the day, before I fall asleep at night, and in the quiet moments of my day to remind me to spend some quality time with him.

I can only fall at his feet and say, "Thank you, Abba Father. YOU are so much more than I deserve. Thank you for reminding me that when I do not "feel" YOU, I only need to pray. YOU reveal yourself to me in the smallest parts of my day, reminding me that YOU are always with me."

Don't let your soul grow cold. I pray that each of us would recognize when we need to come to HIM and give thanks for HIS unfailing, constantly "lavish" love we are so undeserving of.

PS - Please visit Iris at Sting My Heart for more Thankful Thursday!

Watching

2008-06-20T11:38:00.003-05:00

There are things Bryan will never understand until he turns his heart back over to GOD. I know this. I have accepted this. It doesn't keep me from feeling frustrated or sad when we have those "disconnected" moments though.

I watched my sister get married on Saturday. She read a prayer that she had written when she was 16 about waiting for GOD's best. It was actually focused on her husband - they met in high school. They prayed for many years that they would listen for HIS will and HIS time about how to handle their feelings for one another. It was beautiful.

I watched my brother-in-law look at my sister in amazement as she worshipped through song.

I watched them wash each other's feet as an act of servitude.

I watched them look at each other and know that their marriage was a blessing. They were HIS gifts to each other.

I watched Bryan squirm and sigh in his seat as I cried with pride for my sister and her marriage.

I long for him to look at me and see GOD's love for both of us. My heart is so heavy with worry about what our future together will be like sometimes. There are also days when I feel HIM pour out blessings on both of us. I see HIM working in Bryan's heart and I rejoice.

I hold on to those moments. I pray that mighty works will be done in the months to come as we plan our wedding. I also pray that I would not lose sight of GOD's will for me, for Bryan and for our futures.

Help

2008-06-12T21:43:00.002-05:00

My sister is getting married this weekend -YAY!!!

My family is coming into town - WHOOPEE!!

This stresses Bryan out enormously - Not so yay.

It has been a long road for Bryan and my family, particularly my parents. They have seen both the worst and best of "us," and it has taken some time for them to see the real changes in him. He gets incredibly nervous and stressed out. This usually manifests itself in the form of him retreating to another room, finding reasons to be a little late, doing things away from the house, etc...

Pray that we would have a wonderful time celebrating as a family. Pray that my parents would be a shining example of God's grace, and not another source of frustration for Bryan. Pray that I will be able to recognize Bryan's fears and react with compassion - not impatience or intolerance. Pray that this weekend would be an opportunity for US to grow together.

Just pray. :-)

In Him -

Abby

Under Attack

2008-06-09T14:15:00.003-05:00

I know those of you out there in similar relationships and marriages can relate to this feeling of loneliness sometimes. It's especially prevalent on those Sunday mornings when I find myself alone at church. Yesterday was one of those mornings, but it wasn't the loneliness in worship that was the hard part for me. It was the simple act of getting ready and going to church.

It started as soon as I woke up. I knew Bryan had to go into work. One Sunday every three or four months, he has to go in to help with inventory. On a normal Sunday, if I initiate going to church, Bryan will go with me. There is definite squirming and the occasional eye roll, but he does go with me. He won't ask me if I want to go (or ask me not to go), but I am thankful that he will go.

I heard that voice inside of my head...

"You can get alot of stuff done if you stay home. Laundry, vacuum, grocery shopping, etc."

No. I need to go to church.

"Wouldn't it be nice just to have some alone time? Some coffee on the porch. A good book."

No. I promised myself I would go to church.

"You could have your own church at home. Pull out your Beth Moore book. Get some coffee. Go sit on the porch with your Bible."

Man. Satan knows I like my porch and coffee. That was REALLY tempting.

You get the picture. He tempted me the entire morning - even after I was on my way to church. I kept thinking, "What in the world is GOD going to show me at church that Satan does not want me to hear?" I prayed that my heart would be open to whatever GOD needed me to learn during worship.

Our pastor has started a series called "Flip Your House." Each week focuses on a different "room" and this week's theme was "The Dog House: Where Conflict is Resolved." As soon as I saw the sermon title, I immediately felt convicted. I knew exactly why Satan had not wanted me to hear God's word.

We looked at Ephesians 4:25-32. Some of the key phrases that stood out to me...

"... do not sin by letting anger gain control over you..."

It's okay to be angry! It's part of our nature! Conflict is also a part of every relationship - friends, families, and marriages. It's how we handle our anger and frustration that can lead to or away from sin. I will be the first to admit that I am a big manipulator during arguments. I can lay on the guilt just like my Mama taught me. I am also the first one to throw out a nasty remark or insult if I feel hurt. What GOD showed me on Sunday morning is that I need to have the common sense to be constructive with my anger. When Bryan and I disagree, I need to "put on love" and remember that I everything I say or do is a reflection of HIM.

"... anger gives the Devil a mighty foothold..."

This immediately connected with my Beth Moore study! This is like the "crack" in our wall that she talks about. It's all he needs to make us feel like we can be in control - we don't need GOD, our way is okay, etc.

My prayer has been that Bryan and I (especially me) would be able to respond to each other in love and with grace when we are angry. I pray that we would be able to put our conflicts into perspective and to stop looking at arguments and conflict situations as a win/lose situation. I pray that we would be able to speak positively with each other all of the time. I pray we would be able to forgive one another just as HE forgives us. I also pray for the opportunity to share what I learned with Bryan, and that his heart would be open to hear it. I pray all of these things for you, reader, as well. And I rejoiced that I won the battle yesterday - I went to church, I heard GOD's word, I felt convicted, I repented, and I am making a conscious effort not to repeat the same sin again. Praise HIM.

In Him,

Abby

i can see HIM

2008-06-06T08:46:00.003-05:00

even in the small things...

I had a long conversation with my sister yesterday. I told her about this new blog, how GOD laid it on my heart and why I felt it was important. She asked me some really tough questions about Bryan and his salvation.

I guess this would be a good place to stop and tell you a little more about him. He grew up much like I did - in a home with 2 parents, going to church every Sunday, participating regularly in his youth group. He accepted Christ at a church revival when he was about 13. This is something I am not ashamed to say I rejoice in every time I think about where Bryan's heart is.

When Bryan went to college, he joined a fraternity and made friends with some of the "wilder" guys. At some point during this time, Bryan decided he no longer wanted anything to do with GOD, or HIS church. Many of his new friends proclaimed to be atheists and agnostics and he adopted their ideas.

Has Bryan turned his back on GOD? Absolutely. Has GOD turned his back on Bryan? Absolutely not. I am a firm believer in the idea that once your name is written in "the Lamb's Book of Life" it cannot be erased. This is where my conversation with my sister picked up yesterday...

I have to say that my sister handled our entire conversation with grace, kindness, gentleness and compassion. She is genuinely concerned that I will have to be the "spiritual leader" in my marriage unless Bryan turns his heart back over to GOD. I have prayed for many years for GOD to give me a peace about Bryan's heart, his decisions as a young man, and his salvation. HE has done just that.

However, after my conversation with my sister yesterday, satan saw an opportunity - a "crack" in my spiritual wall, if you will. I doubted the peace HE had granted me. I failed to trust HIM. In short, i sinned.

Fast forward to last night. I was babysitting, and after I put the baby to bed I pulled out my devotional - Beth Moore's When Godly People Do Ungodly Things: Arming Yourself in the Age of Seduction. I didn't make it past the second or third page before HE convicted me and proved himself faithful once again...

on page 65:

"Whether or not you realized what was taking place spiritually, when you deliberately received Christ Jesus as your personal Savior, the Holy Spirit immediately came to dwell within you. Once God deposits the Spirit of Christ into our bodies, I believe scripture teaches that we are sealed until we see Christ face-to-face and or redemption in completed in heaven. I believe with all my heart that the Holy Spirit doesn't depart from a believer and that no other spirit can enter us."

As I read this last night, I cried with repentance and joy. In the margin, I wrote "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you." HE is so faithful. HE is always there to reassure us, to guide us, to comfort us.

I know the years ahead with Bryan will not always be easy. I know there will be times when I wish he was more like my brothers-in-law: mature believers who are spiritual leaders in their own families. I am thankful HE is with me, that I can pray for Bryan daily and I know that every bump and blessing in our path together will only be part of HIS perfect plan for us.

In Him,

Abby

A Work in Progress

2008-06-05T10:44:00.002-05:00

This blog is something HE began to lay on my heart almost 2 months ago.

I have to admit that when I first thought about it, I didn't want to write about my experiences in an unequally yoked relationship. There is a part of me that doesn't want to talk about it, that feels ashamed at times, and there are certainly occasions when I wish things could be different. Then I see God begin to work in Bryan, using our experiences to grow my relationship with Him and I am thankful.

I want to share the scripture I believe HE has given me to guide me through the next several months as we plan our wedding and begin our life as a married couple...

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Colassians 3: 12-14 (emphasis mine)

Those three words: put on love have become the cornerstone of my prayers for Bryan and our relationship. I found these verses after Googling "unequally yoked devotional" one morning during my quiet time. I have since lost the bookmark for the site they came from, but the author also included some helpful ways to pray for Bryan. It has really helped me to pray more specifically for Bryan's heart, and my own, during the last few months:

I pray that GOD will:

- Open Bryan's eyes (and mine) to see the emptiness of life without HIM

- Remove the confusion we have about GOD and the life HE offers us

- Make me authentic and honest as I continue to learn to heal with life's ups and downs

- Cause depth and trust to grow in our relationship

- Give me wisdom in knowing how to deal with our relationship

I want this blog to be a resource, an honest account of my journey with GOD and a forum for others who are in relationships like mine. Feel free to agree or disagree, but do so respectfully.

In Him,

Abby