There are things Bryan will never understand until he turns his heart back over to GOD. I know this. I have accepted this. It doesn't keep me from feeling frustrated or sad when we have those "disconnected" moments though.
I watched my sister get married on Saturday. She read a prayer that she had written when she was 16 about waiting for GOD's best. It was actually focused on her husband - they met in high school. They prayed for many years that they would listen for HIS will and HIS time about how to handle their feelings for one another. It was beautiful.
I watched my brother-in-law look at my sister in amazement as she worshipped through song.
I watched them wash each other's feet as an act of servitude.
I watched them look at each other and know that their marriage was a blessing. They were HIS gifts to each other.
I watched Bryan squirm and sigh in his seat as I cried with pride for my sister and her marriage.
I long for him to look at me and see GOD's love for both of us. My heart is so heavy with worry about what our future together will be like sometimes. There are also days when I feel HIM pour out blessings on both of us. I see HIM working in Bryan's heart and I rejoice.
I hold on to those moments. I pray that mighty works will be done in the months to come as we plan our wedding. I also pray that I would not lose sight of GOD's will for me, for Bryan and for our futures.
About Me
- Abby
- Atlanta, Georgia, United States
- A 31 year old wife and feline mama, striving to be the woman God has designed me to be.
5 comments:
Hi Abby!
So great to see you on the 1P3 loop. And this post nearly brought me to tears! What a beautiful ceremony.
Praying for you, dear sister!
Seeing as we are in prtty much the same situation, here is what I have learned when I want to see something reflect spirituality or faith in a certain way - one that I know would only be meaningful to me, at this point: dumb it down. The most God-glorifying thing you can do as it relates to your relationship is love your husband RIGHT WHERE HE IS. Find ways to make things meaningful to you BOTH, knowing that it is ok that things aren't extra-holy or churchy. Like your wedding: give your heart; pick music meaningful to you both - maybe not 'christain' music, per se, but songs that are a true reflection of your relationship and your journey with eachother. And know, sweetness, that when your man looks at you, he DOES see God's love for you both - he just wouldn't articulate it that way. Gear your mind to understand him in this way and to recognize how God is revealing Himself to your guy and showing Himself to be in the center of your relationship in even the smallest ways.
Example: The song I want for our wedding: Aladdin. A Whole New World. Absolutely true of us, but not at all what one would expect of me. (I'd go for a church song, but he's not there yet.)
Hang in there.
Thank you, ladies. Your words of encouragement and advice really mean alot.
Wow, Abby,
I wish I had been at your sister's wedding. I appreciate you post and I know EXACTLY how you are feeling.
I pray for you often and your future. Hugs!
wow your sister's wedding sounds like a beautiful occasion. you wait Abby, the time when your dh becomes a Christian is going to be the time to rejoice and the same will happen to you, Lots of *hugs* from me to you. btw there is light at the end of the tunnel, i only just experienced this last year in my marriage too...
Amy
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