i can see HIM

even in the small things...

I had a long conversation with my sister yesterday. I told her about this new blog, how GOD laid it on my heart and why I felt it was important. She asked me some really tough questions about Bryan and his salvation.

I guess this would be a good place to stop and tell you a little more about him. He grew up much like I did - in a home with 2 parents, going to church every Sunday, participating regularly in his youth group. He accepted Christ at a church revival when he was about 13. This is something I am not ashamed to say I rejoice in every time I think about where Bryan's heart is.

When Bryan went to college, he joined a fraternity and made friends with some of the "wilder" guys. At some point during this time, Bryan decided he no longer wanted anything to do with GOD, or HIS church. Many of his new friends proclaimed to be atheists and agnostics and he adopted their ideas.

Has Bryan turned his back on GOD? Absolutely. Has GOD turned his back on Bryan? Absolutely not. I am a firm believer in the idea that once your name is written in "the Lamb's Book of Life" it cannot be erased. This is where my conversation with my sister picked up yesterday...

I have to say that my sister handled our entire conversation with grace, kindness, gentleness and compassion. She is genuinely concerned that I will have to be the "spiritual leader" in my marriage unless Bryan turns his heart back over to GOD. I have prayed for many years for GOD to give me a peace about Bryan's heart, his decisions as a young man, and his salvation. HE has done just that.

However, after my conversation with my sister yesterday, satan saw an opportunity - a "crack" in my spiritual wall, if you will. I doubted the peace HE had granted me. I failed to trust HIM. In short, i sinned.

Fast forward to last night. I was babysitting, and after I put the baby to bed I pulled out my devotional - Beth Moore's When Godly People Do Ungodly Things: Arming Yourself in the Age of Seduction. I didn't make it past the second or third page before HE convicted me and proved himself faithful once again...

on page 65:

"Whether or not you realized what was taking place spiritually, when you deliberately received Christ Jesus as your personal Savior, the Holy Spirit immediately came to dwell within you. Once God deposits the Spirit of Christ into our bodies, I believe scripture teaches that we are sealed until we see Christ face-to-face and or redemption in completed in heaven. I believe with all my heart that the Holy Spirit doesn't depart from a believer and that no other spirit can enter us."


As I read this last night, I cried with repentance and joy. In the margin, I wrote "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you." HE is so faithful. HE is always there to reassure us, to guide us, to comfort us.

I know the years ahead with Bryan will not always be easy. I know there will be times when I wish he was more like my brothers-in-law: mature believers who are spiritual leaders in their own families. I am thankful HE is with me, that I can pray for Bryan daily and I know that every bump and blessing in our path together will only be part of HIS perfect plan for us.

In Him,

Abby